Gaining Access to Records

When dealing with custody, there are three main kinds of records you will need to maintain: Court records, School Records, and Medical/Dental Records.

To gain access to your Court records, there are two options. One option is to go into the Courthouse where the records are stored, and ask to see them and to make a copy. You will have to pay for copies. Have a list of specific items that you wish to see, to ensure that you are able to get a complete copy. If you cannot go in, due to a work schedule or distance, you can request a copy, in writing. They will inform you of the total price for copies, and then you must send them payment before they send you the copies. Here is a letter template that we have used to get copies:

Month Day, 20XX
X County Court
City, State Zip

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to request a copy of records pertaining to COURT CASE NUMBER, involving NAME, Plaintiff, and NAME, Defendant. The records I am requesting are as follows:

• Motions, Responses, and Counterclaims for hearing dated DATE
• Order Regarding X, dated DATE (X can be Custody, Child Support, Parenting Time, Contempt, etc)

Please send me a reciept with the total cost, so that I may submit payment and have the paperwork mailed to me.

Thank you,

NAME
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE ZIP
PHONE

You can also request copies of any Court records pertaining to the other party or people they associate with, if you are trying to prove that they, or their associates, are not good for the children. You would do the exact same thing as you would to request your records, except you would have to request records pertaining to a specific person, and more than likely you would have to make a trip to the actual Courthouse.

Every parent has the right to access their child’s educational records unless there is a Court Order barring such access. In order to get your child’s school records, simply send a letter similar to the following to your child’s school (courtesy of SPARC www.deltabravo.net)

Month, Day, 20XX
Office of (school name) Elementary/Secondary School
Address
City, State, Zip

To Whom It May Concern:

Please accept this letter as a formal request for any and all school information regarding my biological [son/daughter], [child’s name]. I would like this letter to be entered into [child’s name]’s permanent school record. As there is no court order barring me from contact with my [son/daughter] and I have always tried to be an involved [father/mother], I am exercising my rights under State law and FERPA to have full, unhindered access to my [son/daughter]’s school information.

I have attempted to get this information through his [father/mother], but due to our inability to communicate, I am requesting this information directly from the school. Information to be released includes, but is not limited to, the following:

• Photocopies of all report cards, achievement tests, permission slips, school newsletters, school picture notification, and any other paperwork that is sent to [child’s name]’s primary residence.
• Make sure that my name is in the [Father/Mother] spot on any and all school records, make sure that my name, address, home & work telephone numbers, and my [wife/husband’s] work number are included in the school records as emergency contacts (this information is provided below).
• To be able to contact teachers, aides, counselors, principals, and other school personnel to discuss [child’s name]’s progress in school, any behavioral or disciplinary concerns, and general social well-being of [child’s name] in school, via telephone, email, fax, or in person.
• I want to be notified of and have the opportunity to participate by telephone (or in person if possible) in ANY and ALL meetings, conferences, disciplinary discussions, and any other meetings which require parent participation.
• Copies of any standardized testing results along with opportunities to speak with school personnel if any help is needed interpreting the results.
• Copies of school calendars and notification of special events (winter/spring concerts, plays, school carnival, etc).

• ANY and ALL disciplinary actions (suspension from school or school bus, detentions, etc.) on a timely basis so that [child’s name]’s [father/mother] and I may discuss [his/her] behavioral concerns when they happen.

I would also like to be able to volunteer to help out in [child’s name]’s classroom whenever possible. I am open to reading to students, doing one-on-one work with any student that needs help, discussing career choice(s), and many other activities that would be beneficial, not only to [child’s name], but to [his/her] entire class as well.

I realize that completing a mailing daily is unreasonable. I would be satisfied that non-timely documents can wait and be mailed in bulk. However, any materials or notifications of meetings that are highly time-sensitive need to be mailed in time for me to be an active participant in [child’s name]’s schooling. If the time frame is too small for mailing, please call me at one of the telephone numbers listed below to inform me. You may also fax me any information as well.

I understand that there may be copying or postage costs involved in obtaining material for me. This is not a problem, and I am more than willing to pay for them. Just send a statement whenever such costs are incurred. If you prefer, I will be glad to provide pre-stamped and pre-addressed envelopes in order to make it easier for you to mail me [child’s name]’s school information.

In closing, I would like to be notified (immediately upon the receipt of this letter) of the name of [child’s name]’s teacher and the times during the day that I would be most likely able to telephone and speak with him or her. If you have any question as to whether a piece of information should be sent to me, send it.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Name
Address
City, State, Zip
Phone and FAX Number(s)

Every parent also has the right to access their child’s medical/dental records, again unless there is a Court Order which specifically bars this access. Here is a letter template, also from SPARC:

Month, Day, 20XX
Doctor/Hospital Name
Address
City State Zip

To Whom It May Concern:

Please accept this letter as a formal request for any and all medical information regarding my biological [son/daughter], [child’s name]. I would like this letter to be entered into [child’s name]’s permanent medical record. As there is no court order barring me from contact with my [son/daughter] and I have always tried to be an involved [father/mother], I am exercising my rights under state and federal law to have full, unhindered access to my [son/daughter]’s medical information

In cooperating with state and federal law, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to ask permission from anyone to let me see [child’s name]’s records or be involved in [his/her] medical treatment. Since you have not been nor will be provided with a court order barring my rights, I expect full cooperation from your facility in my being a [father/mother] to my [son/daughter].

I have tried to get the following information through [his/her] [father/mother], but as it seems to upset [child’s name] due to our inability to communicate, I am requesting this information directly from the medical facility to keep [child’s name]’s emotional well-being in the forefront. Information to be considered includes, but is not limited to, the following:

1. Photocopies of the paperwork for all check-ups, inoculations, emergency treatment, and any other paperwork that is sent to [child’s name]’s primary residence ([his/her] [father/mother], [name of father/mother]).

2. Make sure that my name is in the “[father/mother]” spot on any and all medical records, make sure that my name, address, home & work telephone numbers, and my wife’s work number are included in the records as emergency contacts (this information is provided below).

3. To be able to contact doctors, nurses, counselors, and any other medical personnel to discuss [child’s name]’s physical, mental and social well-being via telephone, email, fax, or in person.

4. Copies of any medical testing results along with opportunities to speak with medical personnel if any help is needed interpreting the results.

5. ANY and ALL emergency treatments on a timely basis so that [child’s name]’s [father/mother] and I may discuss [his/her] medical concerns when they happen.

You may mail or fax me any information to the address/fax number below.

I understand that there may be copying or postage costs involved in obtaining material for me. This is not a problem, and I am more than willing to pay for them. Just send a statement whenever such costs are incurred.

I would also like to be notified (immediately upon the receipt of this letter) of the name of [child’s name]’s primary doctor and the times during the day that I would be most likely able to telephone and speak with him or her. If you have any question as to whether a piece of information should be sent to me, send it.

I would also like copies of [his/her] records to be sent to [his/her] pediatrician in [city]. Send the copies to:

[Doctor(s) Name and Address]

Please be advised that I will be authorizing the sending of copies of [child’s name]’s medical records from Dr. [doctor’s name] at Clinic in [city], and Dr. [doctor’s name] at the [name of clinic/hospital] to your office shortly, so as to keep [child’s name]’s records as up-to-date as possible at both [his/her] homes.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation, and if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Your Name
Address
City State Zip
Phone and FAX Number(s)

At this point, I would like to refer you to SPARC, as they are an EXCELLENT resource which we have used many times for letter templates.

How to Document

When you document, it is very important to be thorough. You want to include as much information as possible. You want to be able to back up your records if possible. For instance, if there is denied parenting time, you want to either call the police and ask for a report, or you can go to a local gas station, convenience store, or restaurant and get a receipt with the date and time, as well as the location. This will show that you were at the designated spot at the correct time and did not receive the children. If possible, keep all communication in writing, such as email, USPS, and text messages. Print it all out, or make a copy, or take a picture–whatever you can do to prove it.

To help, I’ll show a few examples of what we use in our forms. We type ours up after we handwrite them, but you can do it either way! I attached our blank forms for you, just click the links 🙂

 Visitation Log
Date:                         Allowed / Denied         Regular / Additional / Requested
If additional or requested, who requested/offered and why?
Present at start of visitation were:
Present at end of visitation were:

Call Log
Date:               Time:
Call From:   Name:                                            Number:
Call To:         Name:                                            Number:
What was discussed?

Email Log (we put this in front of any communication sections with DH’s ex, the teacher, the school, etc)
Sender          Receiver           Date            Subject              Reply
xxxx              xxxx                   xxxx          xxxxxxx           xxxxx
xxxx              xxxx                   xxxx          xxxxxxx           xxxxx
xxxx              xxxx                   xxxx          xxxxxxx           xxxxx

Financial Logs (not CS payments, because we have monthly pay reports for that, but you can put it in if you’d like!)
Date:
Item Purchased            Cost     Qty      Total Cost
xxx                                    $             #         $
xxx                                    $             #         $
xxx                                    $             #         $
Total Cost                                                   $
Reason for purchase: (just because, school supplies, birthday present, clothing, food, etc)
STAPLE OR TAPE RECEIPT, WITH PURCHASES FOR THE CHILD(REN) HIGHLIGHTED. USE A NEW FORM FOR EACH RECEIPT

Communication Log (face-to-face interaction)
Date:                           Time:                    Location:
Who was present?
What was said?

Concerns Log (we use this for things like when SD doesn’t have properly sized clothing, or when DH’s ex wouldn’t allow testing for ADHD for a year and DH had to have it Court Ordered–and SD was diagnosed 11 months later–, or when she visited MIL on a Monday and then returned on Wednesday wearing the same clothes–underwear and socks included)
Date:
Concern:

Violations Log
Date of Court Order: (this applies only if there are more than 1 Court Orders. My DH has 5, but only actually needs 4–one was a temporary order).
Page, Paragraph/Section: (so that you can easily refer to the Court Order if you need to show it to the Court)
Quote: (quote the section pertaining to the violation only–quote the whole paragraph, but not the whole page)
Date of Violation:
Violation: (state the violation without blame-i.e. instead of “As usual, BM can’t seem to inform prior to SD’s appointments”, DH has “Mother did not inform Father of child’s doctor’s appointment”. We refrain from using names in this log, since it could be used in Court, and it may confuse the judge with whose who since he has so many cases).
Proof: (here we list the date/subject of any emails, letters, etc to back up the violation, since DH only communicates with his ex via email).

CO-PARENTING ATTEMPTS (do this for BOTH parties) (sorry, no forms for this or the next, as we just use bullets)
Date:
Attempt:

UNWILLINGNESS TO CO-PARENT (do this for BOTH parties–these are things that should seem like common decency between parents, but that are not Court Ordered)
Date:
What Happened:

Also, make a TABLE OF CONTENTS for each log. Makes for easy reference when needed. Put the information in dated order (you can also divide by subject if you’d like for things like phone calls, email subjects[child support, decision making, violations, parenting time, etc], concerns[medical, dental, educational, health], etc). Start with the newest first, and ending with the oldest.

Keep everything that you document, even if you think you won’t use it. You never know when it may be useful, and you may be able to establish a pattern over the years!

Good luck!

Documentation

If you don’t have an amicable relationship with the other parent, you need to keep records. Keep these records organized, either in file folders or notebooks. We use notebooks, with each notebook having sections. You want to make sure that your records are accurate and detailed. Keep ALL communication in writing, either e-mail, USPS, or text message, so that there cannot be “confusion” on what was stated. If the other parent calls, let the call go to voicemail. If you choose to accept phone calls, record them–be sure to state “So you are aware, this call is being recorded”. This goes for in-person conversations, as well. As long as they are aware, that’s all that matters. The ONLY phone communication between the parents should be in emergency situations. Here’s a list of records to keep:

• Financial Records-You want to keep copies of all pay checks, W-2′s for the last 3-5 years, copies of tax returns for atleast 5 years. You also want to keep receipts for medical/dental, travel, clothing, school supplies, extracurricular activities, etc that you spend on the child for your home and parenting time. Highlight all items for the child(ren).  If you don’t have copies of your tax return transcript, you can request the last 4 years from the IRS using this form: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506t.pdf .  These transcripts are FREE. If you would like a copy of your tax returns, you can use this form: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506.pdf . The copy for EACH return is $57.  You should also keep a copy of Form 8332 for each year that you use it to claim the child(ren).
• Court Orders and Rulings-In this section, you want to place all Court Orders and any referee rulings (which usually end up as Court Orders). Behind this section, we place correspondance with the Court.
• Correspondance with the Other Party (or Parties if more than 1)-Any emails, letters, texts should be printed and put in this section. Make a “Table of Contents” at the beginning with dates, to/from, subject (as in emails), and a quick note of what is discussed in each.
• Correspondance with the Other Party’s Attorneys (if applicable)-This one is obvious. ANYTHING you get from the other party’s attorney needs to be put in here. We have ours divided up into Court Paperwork (motions, notices, responses, etc), and Regular Correspondance.
• Professionals (meaning professionals who deal with the child(ren))-Any letters and/or emails to/from doctors, dentists, therapists, specialists, etc would go here, including any attachments or information sent. We also have records in here, divided by offices.
• School-This is split into correspondance with the school office as well as with the teacher. We also have the school records and calendars here.
• Extracurricular-We have copies of all extracurricular activities, as well as any correspondance with the coaches.
• Visitation-We keep a log of all visitation, including every visitation asked for, every visitation allowed/denied, as well as dates and locations (we live out of State of my husband’s ex).
• Call Logs-write down the date and time of call, as well as who called who (include numbers). You can also save your phone bill and highlight the calls to/from the other parents. Include calls to/from the child as well as between you and the other parent.
• Contempts-Plain and simple. We keep a list of all contempts of the Court Order here. To make things easier, we write the date of contempt, the date of the Court Order (we have multiple orders to modify certain sections), page number, paragraph number, and the quote that the Contempt pertains to. Then we write the contempt and list any proof that we have to back up our claim (i.e. if there’s an email, write the date/subject of the email, so you can reference it if necessary).
• Parenting Plans-My husband has offered a few different versions, and we have saved a copy of each one. This shows that you are trying to work with the other parent. We also have a copy of the one plan my husband’s ex wife offered, which showed her inability to “share” my bonus daughter (4 weeks out of the year, no holidays). We also keep a copy of different versions of parenting plans that we CAN offer in the event that circumstances change (like if we move closer).
• Concerns-We list all of our concerns regarding my step-daughter. This obviously can’t be used in Court, but it does allow my husband to keep track of all of the things that have happened that has concerned him, so if he notices a pattern, he can bring it up to his ex-wife or CPS if necessary.
• Miscellaneous Information-Any information that we think may be useful in Court we keep in this section if it doesn’t fit into any other section. For instance, we have a printout of a page stating the salary for the position that my husband’s ex wife holds at her particular work (not just an estimate for the area-a page from the actual location’s website).

Do you have any tips? Feel free to share them!